In a former role, I used to travel to Sopas Hospital in the Enga Province of Papua New Guinea to chair the hospital board. On one such visit I remember sitting at a table in the meeting and looking up to see an elderly man walking towards me. Now I had never met this man before and I had no idea what he wanted. But as he came alongside, the next thing I knew, I was being punched in the head.
And then, with some encouragement, he turned around and went outside.
I wondered what had just happened and why. I had never met the man. Never caused him harm. What had I done to deserve such a thing?
I spoke with that man after the meeting and learned that his wife had died in the hospital that night. He was angry and needed to express it. He even apologised for punching me.
As I reflect on this incident it seems to me that too often it is the way we deal with slights, hurts and perceived threats that causes the most trouble in the Church. Doctrine usually takes a distant second place. It is these things that give the Church a bad name and dulls its witness. And then we allow pride to get in the way and forgiveness and reconciliation become difficult.
So how should we address these social and often personal challenges in our communities?
The first place to look is Matthew 18 where we are instructed to resolve the matter either personally or with help from a trusted friend or leader. The second is 1 John 4 where we are told to love one another because this is what God is like and how He wants His church to be.
Like my Engan friend, we can often resort to giving in to our feelings and want to strike out. However, as Christians we are exhorted to love our enemies, do good to them who hate us and to resolve our differences in a Christlike manner. “And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters” (1 John 4:21).
