“I don’t know how you do it.”
I get that comment (or some variation of it) a lot. “You must get a lot of letters.” I think behind these comments is a commonly-held perception that Adventists can be unkind to each other. And while I’ve had my fair share of criticism, strange, even aggressive missives over the years, on the whole, I have not received too many letters or comments that could have been considered unhelpful, or worse, toxic.
However, since COVID-19 I have seen the church and the world around us increasingly polarise. While there have always been issues in the church which cause some disagreement, the conversations seem to have intensified in recent years. Adventist church members pulled into Christian nationalist talking points, conspiracy theories and extra-biblical speculation on the occult or the signs of the times. Not necessarily more people but perhaps more boldness and more rejection of those who don’t believe as they do, emboldened by the echo chambers of the internet and its algorithms.
As followers of Jesus, we should not be drawn into the worldly ethic of competition and conquest over our enemies, but should be set apart by service and love, especially to those in our own community.
When thinking about this, my last editorial, I asked myself, what is it I can offer my church family in the South Pacific?
I can’t go past the words of Jesus. As He prepared his disciples for His death, what did He say to them?
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34,35).
We are called to love. More than that we are called to unity in the body (1 Corinthians 12:12-27) and even to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:43-48). These are perhaps Christianity’s hardest teachings and set us apart from other worldviews.
Unity does not mean uniformity. There are some things you and I may never agree on but can we talk about them with love?
But how do we love well when we disagree? Can we love one another in a world where the “love of many has grown cold” (Matthew 24:12)? Here are some lessons I’ve learned that I believe can help us beyond an editorial context.
“A soft answer” really does “turn away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1, NKJV).
Often an angry person just needs to feel heard, and a shared human moment can often soften and calm a raging nervous system.
There is no place for bullying, coercive control or spiritual abuse in the church. Those who want to force others to their point of view are acting contrary to the nature of God as God is love (1 John 4:8) and love is not “self-seeking”, “proud”, love “always protects” (1 Corinthians 13).
We need to see each other as being on the same team, even if we disagree. At times, we can be perceived as prickly, hateful, quick to judge. Yet, the majority of Adventists I have met are kind and loving, quick to serve and passionate about their faith. We’ve all got stories of an angry elder or the potluck police. And so often we make that one bad encounter into an avatar of those who hold different interpretations to us. So we make assumptions about certain groups, or certain churches. We’re in competition with them and make them into the “other”.
We need to aspire to be loving. We should assume the best intentions in the other person (until proven otherwise) and seek to find common ground in our mission, our broken humanity and our need for Jesus.
As I farewell this role, and all of you, thank you for your grace for me over the years. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve chosen not to write on certain important topics, because they are best addressed over a meal, not from a platform. And on the whole, I’ve received grace, love and encouragement.
As I move to a new country and a new field of service, my prayer for us is simple. Let us walk humbly, be kinder to ourselves and others, and may we be Jesus’ shining example of love to the world around us. May we be known for how we love one another.
