Have you ever felt tired of waiting for God? When you are certain that He wants you to move in a certain direction but you have to wait for the door to open? Waiting can be exhausting, perhaps even more than working or doing stuff. It can be quite suffocating in the waiting room—always ready to move forward, always knocking, always hoping that perhaps now, perhaps tomorrow . . . but no, tomorrows pass one after another, and you are still packed, still on your set position, ready to sprint at the least crack of the door, ready to push through it if need be to escape the waiting room.
And when waiting takes years, perhaps decades, you get to a point of wondering: why? Why so long? Can’t God put things on fast forward? Get things moving, since we do not have all the time in the world to wait and wait and wait? Why did Paul have to wait three years in Arabia before he started preaching?
I can only imagine how many more epistles we would have had now if Paul would have started to write three years earlier. Or Jesus waiting for 30 years before He started His public ministry? How many more people would have been reached, healed, impressed to give their heart to God if only Jesus would have started His ministry a few years earlier . . . right? Why all the suspense, anxiety and tension of the uncertainty of when, since the direction is already established.
But as these questions pour onto the paper, the answer starts to surface, no digging required. Simple. Plain. And short.
Me. Maybe I am not ready to handle the responsibilities, the visions and the plans God has for me yet. The keyhole of my future is there, ready and armed, but I have not been cut and polished yet. I am a blank key and therefore, unable to unlock my own glorious future. God is turning the wheels of circumstances, of trials, of unwanted experiences to cut me into a perfect fit for what lies ahead. The original key and template is right here, beside me at every corner and bend of the wheel. And when God will be done with me, I will be an instrument of twisting and turning such powerful events that can even move mountains.
God is a perfectionist. So, the waiting may take a while. The cutting and trimming is a laborious process after all. And while I wait, I’d better make myself comfortable: stretch my faith, nourish my hunger with two fishes and five loaves until they start to multiply inside me, until I can start feeding the hungry multitudes. God will unlock my potential and I will unlock God’s possibilities, prepared just for me. Then, I will have no time to feel tired anymore.
Denisa Selagea is a homeschooler mum of two and part-time dentist who attends Yarra Valley church, Victoria.
