Last year in Record I addressed the Big Three when it comes to youth engagement: parental influence, intergenerational connections and mentoring (July 19).
The title above points to the fact that my research discovered much more than these three. Come with me on a journey into the minds of our youth and young adults.
It would be great if you knew my name!
It’s important when the people we associate with know our names—it implies belonging. It’s good when first names are used, with a note of personal relevance. In some of the larger congregations there is no real effort to learn who other members are. This makes it easier for youth/young adults to walk away from church at transition points: finishing high school, going to TAFE, university or starting work. If deep bonds of friendship have developed there is a good reason to stay.
Active listening
Active listening means that we endeavour to hear what the other person is saying. We listen without interrupting or judging, fully focusing on what another is saying—both verbally and nonverbally—and responding in a way that shows we understand and care. This includes asking clarifying questions, summarising points to ensure understanding and validating others’ feelings.
We are social creatures
As young people grow and mature they need support across various aspects of their lives. Religion, worship and church can be well and good, but please remember that youth and young adults also need development that speaks to their physical, social and intellectual life. Luke 2:52 speaks of this balance: “And Jesus increased in wisdom and in years, and in divine and human favour” (NRSV). Big decisions and choices face youth and young adults: choice of career, friends, educational and trade pathways, partners and much more.
Practical ways that Christianity makes a difference
The best witness for being a Christian is goodness, toleration, love, care, acceptance and understanding. It takes quite a while to learn how to drive a car, but it takes even longer to learn how to live a life. Both younger and older Christians find the way difficult at times, but if the church is seen more like a hospital for life, rather than a museum of achievement, it is going to be a kinder place for youth and young adults to grow and mature in.
Don’t judge harshly
One thing that can destroy someone more than anything else is when harsh criticism is directed their way. It is hard enough to deal with failure, let alone having to carry harsh judgement as well.
Treat others with respect
Youth may not always treat older people with respect, but have you considered that how you respond can be a powerful demonstration of maturity? How many young adults have reflected upon kind and sincere reactions of an older person that may have been undeserved? Ultimately the best teacher is actions, not words. Kindness is powerful.
Learning is important
No-one starts as experts—we all had to learn, often by trial and error—and the more we learn, the more we realise we remain learners our whole lives. It’s one of those journeys where we never actually arrive! Being a participant is much more rewarding than being a mere spectator and can be a wonderful learning experience for youth and young adults. Be patient as others learn. Being slower to learn does not mean someone is not trying.
This brings me to the end, and I am reminded that I myself am a constant learner just like you.
Dr Jeff Parker is the Tasmanian Conference president and former Australian Union Conference youth director (2014-2025).
