Life is a struggling friend
each night she lays wake til dawn
from the bed of her casket
unaware of what the day may bring.
Life is a wondering thought
each day, a battle between good and evil
her thoughts swimming in lukewarm waters
while profusely drowning in a glass of deep sea.
Life is a defeated soldier
who never lined up with anyone’s standard of life
yet each moment putting her life in the line of fire,
while the only support line
was the lifeline number 13 11 14.
Wounds of not being pretty enough,
scars of not being smart enough,
staring down the gun barrel of never being good enough.
Life is the masquerade she puts on when you ask her:
R U OK?
I still struggle with
I’m never ‘fill in the negative blank’ enough.
It took me six sessions of counselling
to figure out
‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue.’
And I was slowly feasting on death
or was death feasting on me?
I found myself eating every pessimistic word
in the human vocabulary,
uploading positive posts on social media
yet crying for help through my soundproof pillow.
Left to survive in a padded room full of echoes
it’s the wounds you don’t see that hurt the most.
‘For as he thinks in his heart so is, he’
and I thought, so much evil in my heart
it deceived me.
Each cell of my body enslaved
by the negative voices of my Pinocchio’s.
God had picked up my broken pieces
and started to put the shrouds together
only to seal it with his everlasting love.
I am a woman no longer a girl,
I am caterpillar who has blossomed into a butterfly
I am a work in progress
called to be His masterpiece in damaged places.
Fragile stickers plastered over human hearts,
emotions covered by feeble face masks.
Surrounded by a society that sees
weakness in sharing your feelings
while being caught up in a fake façade of fame
let’s not surrender to misery another day
let’s take a step out in faith
let’s cry a little, let our shame be our story
that encourages others to share their journey
I’m all for showing my flaws
putting it on a pedestal
and claiming the thorns in my flesh as my trophy.
Only God can take the thing
we want to hide and build
the greatest story we will ever tell
it’s only in darkness we see stars shine the brightest.
We, are perfectly imperfect beings
we are the result of what has been moulded in dark places
we are the voices crying out in the wilderness,
there’s more to say after R U OK?
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, a Lifeline Crisis Supporter is only a call away on 13 11 14. To find FAQ about mental health, visit Beyond Blue. For extra resources on mental health, visit Signs of the Times.
