What a man leaves in his children matters far more than what he leaves to his children; for what he leaves to his children may be spent in a fleeting moment, but that which is instilled in his children can shape history for generations to come.
The name Abraham Lincoln is famous around the world. He is known as one of the greatest presidents of the United States of America for the positive influence he had during a dark time in American history. But the name Thomas Lincoln is virtually unknown. Thomas was Abraham Lincoln’s father.
Thomas was born in 1778 in Rockingham County, Virginia, USA. The life he lived was simple, working hard as a carpenter and farmer in Hardin County (Kentucky) and Little Pigeon Creek (Indiana). He could only read a little and always encouraged his children to read and learn more than him. During his time in Hardin County, he was an active church member and heavily involved in his community. He served as a jury member, a guard for county prisoners, petitioned for the development of a road in their town and disapproved of the use of slavery. Later, when he moved to Little Pigeon Creek with his family, he assisted in building the Baptist Church where he continued to serve as a member and church trustee.
Thomas was described by a family member as “one of the best men that ever lived. A sturdy, honest, God-fearing man whom all the neighbours respected.” Many others knew him as a man who was good-humoured, patient and kind, someone who loved everybody and everything. He was known for his “flair for storytelling”, having a “great stock of anecdotes and professed marvellous proclivity to entertain by ‘spinning yarns’”.1These descriptions could easily fit Abraham Lincoln himself, revealing the strong influence his father had over his upbringing and character.
Abraham Lincoln is known for his honesty, compassion and integrity, and his humour and storytelling abilities are renowned. These characteristics did not develop in a vacuum; his father’s influence was deep and lasting. In the words of one of his family members, Abraham “got his honesty and his clean notions of living and kind heart from his father”.
While a father does not define who a person becomes, he can certainly help to shape who they choose to be.
The research
The impact of a father on the success of his children is widely recognised in social research. When fathers are involved in their children’s lives, statistics reveal that children are twice as likely to go to college or university, 80 per cent less likely to spend time in jail, and 75 per cent less likely to experience teen pregnancy.2 Not only that, but involved fathers also contribute to better emotional, academic, social and behavioural outcomes for children. Children with actively involved fathers are 43 per cent more likely to earn A’s in school and 33 per cent less likely to repeat a grade than those without engaged fathers.3
It should be acknowledged that not all fathers can be present in their children’s lives, due to work demands, divorce or separation, distance, or a variety of other factors. However, the research does indicate that the quality of the father-child relationship matters more than the hours spent together. Non-resident fathers can still positively impact their child’s social, emotional, academic and behavioural outcomes by spending intentional, quality time with them.3 The research suggests that emotional absence is far more damaging to children than physical absence.
Nevertheless, father absence is a major issue in our society, linked to 71 per cent of all high-school dropouts, 90 per cent of homeless and runaway children, and 63 per cent of youth suicides.2
Leaving a positive legacy for the next generation does not require great wealth, education or achievement, but merely that an individual models values and principles that inspire others to follow.
A father figure
The Bible provides many examples of how we can guide our children in a positive way.
In the book of Esther, we see the powerful impact one man’s positive, fatherly role had—not only on a child, but on an entire nation.
In this story, Mordecai demonstrated four key qualities of a good father figure.
First, Mordecai becomes a source of protection and support. He chose to raise and provide for his cousin Hadassah (Esther) after her parents died, continuing to look out for her wellbeing. Mordecai acted shrewdly to protect Hadassah in the King’s court, where being a Jew was dangerous, by instructing her to change her name and conceal her heritage.
Second, Mordecai held strong moral principles and courageously stood up for what was right. He was a good man who chose to do the right thing in the face of adversity, refusing to bow down to Haman or worship him. He also exposed corruption and assassination attempts, at the risk of his own life. This provided an admirable model of behaviour and principle for others to follow. It is said of Mordecai in Esther 10:3 that, “Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welcome of all the Jews.” By standing for what was right during the difficult times, Mordecai earned the respect and admiration of all.
Third, Mordecai challenged Hadassah to act on her beliefs. When Hadassah was to speak before the King, Mordecai did not pander to her fears and insecurities but instead urged her to overcome them and see the bigger picture.
Finally, Mordecai pointed Hadassah to God. While God is not mentioned explicitly in the book of Esther, Mordecai’s response to Hadassah reveals where his faith lies. Esther 4:14 says, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Mordecai demonstrates his assurance that God will deliver His people from the decree of annihilation, whether Hadassah acts or not. He urges her to trust that God will use her and her position for His purpose.
As a result of Mordecai’s influence on his cousin Hadassah, the Jews across the entire Persian kingdom were saved from a death decree, and the Jewish holiday of Purim was established, which is still celebrated today (Esther 9:20–28).
Fathers and father figures can leave a legacy for generations to come. Are we choosing to be godly examples of fatherly influence, to bless and inspire others to pursue greatness? The choice is ours.
- nps.gov/people/thomas-lincoln.htm
- afathersplace.org/why-it-matters/fathers/
- allforkids.org/news/blog/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/
Olivia Fairfax is an assistant editor at Adventist Record.
