David Ogleton, an influencer known as FitDad on social media, is probably most well known for his eye-rolling dad jokes. He’s perfected the art of delivering a funny punchline and it has created opportunities for him to make content promoting the world’s biggest brands such as Disney and Pepsi.
He often wears a T-shirt in his videos that says, “It’s not a dad bod, it’s a father figure.” First of all, top quality word play. But there also seems to be a message (at least for me) in the T-shirt.
Dad bod describes the casual pot belly of a man who has let himself go a bit after becoming a father. Perhaps his priorities have changed, and he can’t spend as many hours in the gym anymore. Contentment and social events (kids’ birthdays) have replaced outdoor weekend activities. I know that having our first child in the lockdowns of 2020 meant motivation to go outside was low—we spent a lot of time in our baby bubble, getting to know the new addition to the family. And it meant I stacked on a lot of weight I had taken off. My new baby very quickly gave me back a dad bod.
In some ways the original joke is asking for more recognition or respect for the dad bod, by formally rebranding it as a “father figure”. Dad bod wears a singlet; father figure wears chinos and a knit sweater. Sounds more official right? But I think “FitDad” is also promoting a message about intentionality.
A dad bod is casual, built by neglect and circumstance; to build a father figure requires work.
That’s the thing about fatherhood. As much as life is created miraculously through an amazing and complex process, men are then less saddled with responsibility, at least biologically speaking. They cannot feed babies and historically have left the mother with much of the child-rearing responsibility. Yet millennial dads are bucking that trend, with some reports saying they are three times more involved in their child’s lives than previous generations. This is a positive, especially in light of the sobering statistics that are linked to father absence.
It takes work and intentionality to be a father figure.
And for Paul it starts with sacrificial love. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). The first thing children need to see is that their father can model sacrificial love for their mother. In this broken world, sometimes a couple have children and are no longer together, however, I would argue that a father can still show sacrificial love, by the way he treats those around him, including an ex-partner. Paul goes on to encourage fathers to “not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (6:4). In the Roman world, where fathers had the right to kill their offspring for bringing dishonour to the family, this caution not to exasperate is revolutionary. And the positive flipside Paul brings is crucial—an encouragement to discipleship in Jesus.
I also like the phrase father figure because it includes those who aren’t a person’s biological parents but can still fulfil the role. Uncles, grandparents, brothers and more. Being a mentor or a positive influence in someone’s life, especially a child or young person, is invaluable in shaping the next generation, and in passing on our Christian faith.
So thank you to all the father figures in our churches and our lives. You’ve been there in the hard times, you’ve taught us what it means to love God and others, to sacrifice, to work hard and to put others first. As Father’s Day approaches and we prepare to celebrate the fathers in our lives, I pray that we all take a moment to appreciate what they’ve done for us, commit to doing it for someone else and making sure that we become more like our Heavenly Father in the process.
Even if you, like me, may be sporting a bit of a dad bod at the moment.
