As parents we all want one thing—to see our children/youth/young adults reach adulthood retaining a vibrant connection with Jesus Christ and the church. Research shows that the influence of parents is “nearly deterministic” (more on that later). When it comes to positive influence and ongoing engagement of our young people within the church, nothing has a stronger influence than a strong family unit. But what if there was even more help available?
Over a five-year period, 625 Seventh-day Adventist young people in Australia completed two surveys on how they see the church—the first was in 2019 and the second in 2024. I conducted the research which was very relevant to my role as Australian Union Conference youth director. Many important concepts were put forward by respondents and three very significant outcomes stood out across the large range of responses.
The following three things are necessary if the Adventist Church wishes to retain its youth as they finish high school, gain their driver’s licence and more freedom, enter the work force, and/or become university students:
First, as noted above, parents who model a genuine family concern packed with grace-based Christian love have more impact than anything else on the journey from child to young adult.
Second, there needs to be a deep sense of intergenerational connection between the younger set and the older members in the church and vice-versa.
Thirdly, there needs to be a well-formed informal mentoring process in place. In short, to quote an old well-worn epithet: “What you do speaks so loud, I can’t hear what you say!”
In other words Christian goodness, Christian kindness and a deep sense of genuine care are foundational.
Parents
Parents play an important role in the lives of their children. They are a powerful influence right from the day of birth. David Briggs (2014) summarises some of the significant data that arises from a longitudinal study in the USA called “National Study of Youth and Religion”. He discovered only one per cent of teens (aged 15 to 17) raised by parents who attached little importance to religion were still connected to religion in their mid to late 20s. By contrast, 82 per cent of children raised by parents who talked about faith and attached great importance to their beliefs were still active as young adults. Christian Smith, quoted in Briggs (2014), found that the connection is “nearly deterministic” and that “Nothing else comes remotely close to matching the influence of parents on the religious faith and practices of youth. Parents just dominate . . . One of the strongest factors associated with older teens keeping their faith as young adults was having parents who talked about religion and spirituality at home” (p17,18).1
This challenges us as parents to make sure we are talking about our faith and belief in positive ways every day. Many of the youth and young adults who responded to my survey talked about the way their parents had been so influential in their lives.
Intergenerational relationships
It is true that all youth and young adults want some special time with those of their own age, but that doesn’t mean total exclusivity. Intergeneration does not mean one group dominating the other. It means each generational group gets to know other groups. This also means young people are seen as much a part of the church as the older persons. The church should not just look out for the spiritual condition of the person, but must ensure that there is care and support for a person, socially and physically as well. Intergenerational relationships work if an interest is taken in a person because of who they are and not just as an office holder or member of the local church.
This might look like inviting youth and young adults home for a meal, being there at a sporting event, a movie night or a multitude of other things of interest. Ultimately, we are social beings and there is much more to life than one aspect of our existence. This connection can take place in many ways and be as broad as one’s imagination.
Some simple ideas to get started. You could initiate conversations about what each individual does, where they work, what they are learning at TAFE or university. It’s very important to know each other’s names and discover what makes each other tick. Intergenerational relationships can be life-changing for all involved and can be as close as one generation or many generations apart in age.
If we want to see real youth engagement in the local church we need these connections.
Mentoring
Mentors are certainly needed, but there is a real skill in being a good mentor. Mentors can be formal or informal. In a very real sense intergenerational relationships and mentoring can and do overlap.
Formal mentoring, or an agreement between two people, the mentor and mentee, is very important and certainly has it place. This article will focus on informal mentoring, which is vitally important in the local church but often missed. But what is informal mentoring? Much informal mentoring happens with a smile, a cheery word, a regular text message, a greeting or genuine acts of care and kindness.
Informal mentoring is when a church member decides to act out of a sense of love, not duty. This needs to begin when children are in Adventurers or Juniors and continue through to the young adult years. Informal mentoring must be long term and intentional. It is when older generations look out for younger generations and regularly connect. Studies have shown that younger men definitely need older men to be a part of that informal mentoring process. Kidder and Doorland (2021) build a strong case challenging churches to make sure that their mentoring processes are in place when it comes to working with males in particular.
They stated, “The top solution we discovered is simple: young men need older male mentors. If you want to see more young men engaged in church attendance, find dedicated men in your congregation who can intentionally mentor preteen boys through their young adult years. Mentoring was the common denominator among all the young men interviewed who were still engaged in church” (p42).2
Church leadership committees can add intentionality to this by making sure that each child is part of the church’s informal mentoring. Two survey responses direct from our young adults say a lot to all of us:
“I grew up in a single parent family. I think my mum saw my older brothers leave the church because they had no strong mentor (despite her best efforts). So, she made sure I was plugged in with supportive mentors from the youth group I attended, to pastors and other leaders. I am so grateful I had all these people, but I also wonder where these people were for my brothers, I don’t understand why the church didn’t reach out to them” (Survey 179).3
And this: “Since becoming a single mother (out of wedlock) the church has been more supportive than I could have ever imagined! It came as a real surprise to me as I know I did the wrong thing so assumed there would be tension within the church. As far as I can see and tell everyone, at my home church has embraced me further into the church family and have done all they can to support me. People who never spoke to me before now take the time to check in on me. This has really showed me the value of a solid church family” (Survey 277).4
So, we come to the end of this piece. The real task starts now. We move from the descriptive phase to the implementation. I invite all of you, including myself, to make our homes, our churches and ourselves better exponents of Christian love, care and kindness, living out great parenting, genuine intergenerational connections and informal mentoring.
- Briggs, D (2014) “Parents are top influence in teens remaining active in religion as young adults”. The Christian Century, 131(26), 17,18.
- SJ Kidder & N Dorland (March 29, 2021), “Getting Back on Track”, Adventist World.
- Dr Jeff Parker dissertation <digitalcommons.andrews.edu/dmin/799/>, page 83.
- Dr Jeff Parker dissertation <digitalcommons.andrews.edu/dmin/799/>, page 84.
Dr Jeff Parker is the youth director for the Australian Union Conference.
